Squeeze Me


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From the best-selling author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl, a hilarious new novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida's gold coast. It's the height of the Palm Beach charity ball season: for every disease or cause, there's a reason for the local luminaries to eat (minimally), drink (maximally), and be seen. But when a prominent high-society dowager suddenly vanishes during a swank gala, and is later found dead in a concrete grave, panic and chaos erupt. Kiki Pew was notable not just for her wealth and her jewels--she was an ardent fan of the Winter White House resident just down the road, and a founding member of the POTUSSIES, a group of women dedicated to supporting their President. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, the President immediately declares that Kiki was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth. The truth might just lie in the middle of the highway, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady's motorcade to a grinding halt (followed by some grinding between the First Lady and a love-struck Secret Service agent). Enter Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, who arrives at her own conclusions after she is summoned to the posh island to deal with a mysterious and impolite influx of huge, hungry pythons . . . Carl Hiaasen can brighten even the darkest of days and Squeeze Me is pure, unadulterated Hiaasen. Irreverent, ingenious, and highly entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.

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Author by Carl Hiaasen
Genre eBook Fiction
Read Book 352
ISBN Number 9781524733469

Make Russia Great Again


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The award-winning and bestselling author of Thank You for Smoking delivers a hilarious and whipsmart fake memoir by Herb Nutterman—Donald Trump’s seventh chief of staff—who has written the ultimate tell-all about Trump and Russia. Herb Nutterman never intended to become Donald Trump’s White House chief of staff. Herb served the Trump Organization for twenty-seven years, holding jobs in everything from a food and beverage manager at the Trump Magnifica to being the first general manager of the Trump Bloody Run Golf Course. And when his old boss asks “his favorite Jew” to take on the daunting role of chief of staff, Herb, spurred on by loyalty, agrees. But being the chief of staff is a lot different from being a former hospitality expert. Soon, Herb finds himself deeply involved in Russian intrigue, deflecting rumors about Mike Pence’s high school involvement in a Satanic cult, and leading President Trump’s reelection campaign. What Nutterman experiences is outrageous, outlandish, and otherwise unbelievable—therefore making it a deadly accurate account of being the chief of staff during the Trump administration. With hilarious jabs at the biggest world leaders and Washington politics overall, Make Russia Great Again is a timely political satire from “one of the funniest writers in the English language” (Tom Wolfe).

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Author by Christopher Buckley
Genre eBook Fiction
Read Book 288
ISBN Number 9781982157487

Razor Girl


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From the legendary author of "Bad Monkey, Star Island, " and "Nature Girl" comes his new full-tilt, razor-sharp, unstoppably hilarious and entertaining novel filled with the zany, raunchy, irresistible fun his fans never stop craving. Tall Premium Edition.

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Author by Carl Hiaasen
Genre eBook Fiction
Read Book 432
ISBN Number 9780525567189

Humor Journal


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Grab this funny Squeeze Me Stomp Me Make Me Wine Humor Quote Journal as a gift for your daughter, son, brother, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, dad, mom, aunt, uncle, grandma or grandpa who loves Animal Pet Dog Mexican Food Notebooks Usage: Gratitude Journal 5 Minute Journal Affirmation Journal Mindfulness Journal Happiness, Positivity, Mood Journal Prayer Journal Writing, Poetry Journal Travel Journal Work, Goal Journal Daily Planner Dream Journal Yoga, Fitness, Weight Loss Journal Recipe, Food Journal Password Journal Art Journal Log Book Diary Features: 6 x 9 page size 120 pages Dotted grid pages Cream/Ivory colored paper Soft cover / paperback Matte finish cover Grab this funny Squeeze Me Stomp Me Make Me Wine Humor Quote Journal as a gift for your daughter, son, brother, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, dad, mom, aunt, uncle, grandma or grandpa who loves Animal Pet Dog Mexican Food Notebooks Usage: Gratitude Journal 5 Minute Journal Affirmation Journal Mindfulness Journal Happiness, Positivity, Mood Journal Prayer Journal Writing, Poetry Journal Travel Journal Work, Goal Journal Daily Planner Dream Journal Yoga, Fitness, Weight Loss Journal Recipe, Food Journal Password Journal Art Journal Log Book Diary Features: 6 x 9 page size 120 pages Dotted grid pages Cream/Ivory colored paper Soft cover / paperback Matte finish cover

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Author by Vepa Journals Humor Journal
Genre eBook
Read Book 122
ISBN Number 1071285343

Squeeze Me Stomp Me Make Me Wine


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Author by Don Joe
Genre eBook
Read Book 112
ISBN Number 1078411379

Skinny Dip


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Chaz Perrone might be the only marine scientist in the world who doesn’t know which way the Gulf Stream runs. He might also be the only one who went into biology just to make a killing, and now he’s found a way–doctoring water samples so that a ruthless agribusiness tycoon can continue illegally dumping fertilizer into the endangered Everglades. When Chaz suspects that his wife, Joey, has figured out his scam, he pushes her overboard from a cruise liner into the night-dark Atlantic. Unfortunately for Chaz, his wife doesn’t die in the fall. Clinging blindly to a bale of Jamaican pot, Joey Perrone is plucked from the ocean by former cop and current loner Mick Stranahan. Instead of rushing to the police and reporting her husband’s crime, Joey decides to stay dead and (with Mick’s help) screw with Chaz until he screws himself. As Joey haunts and taunts her homicidal husband, as Chaz’s cold-blooded cohorts in pollution grow uneasy about his ineptitude and increasingly erratic behavior, as Mick Stranahan discovers that six failed marriages and years of island solitude haven’t killed the reckless romantic in him, we’re taken on a hilarious, full-throttle, pure Hiaasen ride through the warped politics and mayhem of the human environment, and the human heart. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

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Author by Carl Hiaasen
Genre eBook Fiction
Read Book 368
ISBN Number 9781400043309

Assume The Worst


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This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning." So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody. And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody. Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but. This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.

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Author by Carl Hiaasen
Genre eBook Humor
Read Book 64
ISBN Number 9780525655022

Bad Monkey


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Andrew Yancy—late of the Miami Police and soon-to-be-late of the Monroe County sheriff’s office—has a human arm in his freezer. There’s a logical (Hiaasenian) explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig (it’s not called the roach patrol for nothing). But first—this being Hiaasen country—Yancy must negotiate an obstacle course of wildly unpredictable events with a crew of even more wildly unpredictable characters, including his just-ex lover, a hot-blooded fugitive from Kansas; the twitchy widow of the frozen arm; two avariciously optimistic real-estate speculators; the Bahamian voodoo witch known as the Dragon Queen, whose suitors are blinded unto death by her peculiar charms; Yancy’s new true love, a kinky coroner; and the eponymous bad monkey, who with hilarious aplomb earns his place among Carl Hiaasen’s greatest characters. Here is Hiaasen doing what he does better than anyone else: spinning a tale at once fiercely pointed and wickedly funny in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what’s left of pristine Florida—now, of the Bahamas as well—get their comeuppance in mordantly ingenious, diabolically entertaining fashion.

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Author by Carl Hiaasen
Genre eBook Fiction
Read Book 336
ISBN Number 9780385350075

Hey Whipple Squeeze This


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The classic guide to creating great advertising now covers all media: Digital, Social, and Traditional Hey Whipple, Squeeze This has helped generations of young creatives make their mark in the field. From starting out and getting work, to building successful campaigns, you gain a real-world perspective on what it means to be great in a fast-moving, sometimes harsh industry. You'll learn how to tell brand stories and create brand experiences online and in traditional media outlets, and you'll learn more about the value of authenticity, simplicity, storytelling, and conflict. Advertising is in the midst of a massive upheaval, and while creativity is still king, it's not nearly enough. This book is an essential resource for advertising professionals who need up-to-date digital skills to reach the modern consumer. Turn great ideas into successful campaigns Work effectively in all media channels Avoid the kill shots that will sink any campaign Protect your work Succeed without selling out Today's consumer has seen it all, and they're less likely than ever to even notice your masterpiece of art and copy, let alone internalize it. Your job is to craft a piece that rises out of the noise to make an impact. Hey Whipple, Squeeze This provides the knowledge to create impressive, compelling work.

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Author by Luke Sullivan
Genre eBook Business & Economics
Read Book 448
ISBN Number 9781119164029

Carl Hiaasen 5 Book Collection


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This collection features five of Newbery Honor-winning and #1 New York Times bestselling author Carl Hiaasen's beloved classics! Take a trip to Carl Hiaasen's Florida--where the animals are wild and the people are wilder--with this collection that includes Hoot, Flush, Scat, Chomp, and Squirm! Hoot: Everybody loves Mother Paula's pancakes. Everybody, that is, except the cute but endangered owls that live on the building site of the new restaurant. Can the awkward new kid and his feral friend prank the pancake people out of town? Or is the owls' fate cemented in pancake batter? Flush: The Coral Queen casino boat is treating the ocean like a toilet bowl, so Noah's dad decides to sink the darn thing. Problem is, there's no evidence of illegal dumping. Now Dad's in the clink, the boat's back in business, and only Noah can flush the truth out into the open. Scat: The most terrifying teacher in school is missing in the Everglades, and it's up to Nick and Marta to find her. But first they'll have to reckon with a junior arsonist, a wannabe Texas oilman, and a ticked-off Florida panther. It's all about to hit the fan, and when it does, these kids better scat. Chomp: When Wahoo Cray's dad--a professional animal wrangler--takes a job with a reality-TV survival show, Wahoo figures he'll have to do a bit of wrangling himself to keep his father from killing the show's inept and egotistical star. But the job keeps getting more complicated--and it isn't just the animals who are ready to chomp. Squirm: This summer, Billy will fly across the country, hike a mountain, float a river, dodge a grizzly bear, shoot down a spy drone, save a neighbor's cat, save an endangered panther, and then try to save his own father.

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Author by Carl Hiaasen
Genre eBook Juvenile Fiction
Read Book 1632
ISBN Number 9780593301616